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Living with HIV in the UK
I was very bad at home and on Christmas Day I was very ill. I was being sick, not eating anything much at all. I remember Christmas night I was just sitting in a chair slumped in a heap. I had a massive temperature and I was curled up in a ball just baking hot. That night Mum had to put me to bed early. Then I was waking up at night with these terrible sweats, just waking up with my clothes all soaking wet, and my hair just soaking with sweat. It came to Boxing Day and the doctors decided I should come to the hospital to be admitted, to have more tests done. I was on the children's ward and I remember shivering and feeling freezing cold. Everything was an effort to do because I was so tired and so worn out, and I remember my breathing got a bit strange and I felt very faint. It was as if I was just going to pass out. I know now that I had PCP [HIV related pneumonia] and that I was very, very, very ill with high temperatures. I was in such a lot of pain that I was on Pethidine [a pain-killer] for days, which wasn't the nicest of experiences but it did control the pain. I didn't really have any choice at all, I had to have it. My Mum was with me a lot, and she did calm me down through the pain. And my Dad has been very good as well. But it was just so frightening.
Here is my story, My name is Matt I'm 36 and live in Sheffield, UK. I was diagnosed HIV on the 26th of June 2003. When I was diagnosed HIV, words cannot express how I felt and still feel each day. I had one love in my life whom I was with for 6 years, I do not know how I caught the virus nor do I want to now. I believed whole heatedly in safe sex, so becoming HIV was a complete shock. In May I caught chicken pox which made me very ill, I want for the usual test and never expected the result of being HIV, Since being diagnosed it has taken a long time to come to terms and I still haven't. I have been to counseling but this didn't help me whatsoever, I had problems at work over the situation and nearly lost me job over the fact, although they would not say it was because of my illness I knew it was, at times I have felt like giving up completely but because of my new partner who has been a rock in my life, life goes on. I have started exercise and a good diet and don't drink too much, I am trying now to get on with a normal life, aside from the prejudice the nasty remarks, I'm standing tall. If anyone reads this and has just been diagnosed I know its hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel and just keep going on and never look back. I have come to learn to be careful who you tell as this causes major problems take it from experience. People at work found out and this has been hard, my family disowned me when I personally told them. the best point I think is only tell those you can trust like your doctor or closet friend. I want to wish you all out there like me the best of luck for the future. Matt
Nomakanjani I 31 years old and was diagnosed October 2002, the reason why I tested is because I wanted a child. I think I took the news well, my husband was negative. We had been having problems before I was tested, in actual fact I left him for a month. Came back to give it a go, part of the reason why I left was because I had found out he was having an internet affair and also because he had one too many excuses as to why we should wait regarding having children (he has got a child from his previous relationship, 9yr boy). So my new found status has made me question whether I should spend the remaining years trying to sort my marriage out or pack it in, because really and truly we are constantly fighting. The strain of working the marriage is too much for me. I am so confused. The people who know about my status so far are my sister, nephew, cousin/friend and my husband. I am yet to tell the rest of my family the 1st week in March this year 2003. Although I would love to have a child, I am just not sure whether I still love my husband enough to have a child with him. At present my CD4 is 601 and viral load is 1,500. I haven't started treatment yet. I still feel very well. I think this would be the perfect time to have a child, but I am with a man I am not sure whether I want to stay married to or not. I know there is hope out there and I am determined to be happy at all costs. If I leave my husband, will I ever find someone to love me for me? All I know is it can't get much worse than the relationship I am in now. To all of us who are positive stay strong and don't let any one put you down, life is not a rehearsal it is here and now so live the best way you can. Just know that every exit is an entry somewhere, and life goes on, stress free. All the best | ||||||||||||
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