The internet has become a part of our lives, and now, most teens in developed countries go online every day. It's changed our lives in a lot of ways, and we use the web for school, for work - and also for socialising and meeting new people.

The internet is a great way of sharing with people all around the world - other people in many countries might be reading this page right now. People spend more of their daily lives online than ever before - shopping, chatting, making new friends, studying and working online. The internet has areas that appeal to all the most important sides of our lives - including relationships and sex. It can be a really useful and important part of our lives. But unfortunately, as the internet has grown, it hasn't always been matched by a sensible portrayal of sexual matters.

There are a few different sides to sex and relationships that you'll find online - some can be helpful, some not. The most popular subjects are:

• Help, information & advice
• Chat / Meeting people
• Pornography

This page contains some simple tips on accessing sexual health information, safe internet use, and how to find the information you're looking for.

Help, information & advice

These days, there are a large number of resources for teens available on the internet, on all sorts of different subjects. On the subjects of 'sex' or 'relationships', a common type of website are ones that give help, advice or information. This type of information seems to be very important to teens - a recent survey found that 75% of young people in the USA use the internet to look for health information. But to find the right information, you have to look in the right places.

AVERT.org is an example of a site that gives information - as it contains a great deal of information about HIV and AIDS. It also has a teens section that contains information for young people.

Examples of websites that offer help and advice for teens are available from the AVERT.org help page and from the AVERT.org links page. Some of these websites may be operated by larger organisations who also offer helplines - phone lines on which you can talk to people, usually in confidence. Websites that offer help, advice and information can be extremely useful, especially if you want to find out about things that you're not taught in school sex-ed, or that you can't talk to your parents about. There are a few things you need to watch out for, though...

The truth, and nothing but the truth?

It's all very well if the information is accurate, but there's no way of knowing that what you read on the web is true. Anyone could put up a web page claiming that you won't get pregnant if you have sex standing up, for example - but that doesn't make it true! (It isn't true, btw!) Just because something's on the internet doesn't mean it's correct. If you're looking for information about something really important, try to double-check on more than one site, to check the info agrees.

Hidden agenda?

Some sites might give (or not give) you certain information for a reason of their own. Some religious organisations (for example) don't believe in sex before marriage - if one of these organisations runs a website, can you be sure that it'll give you the full info on how to have safer sex, for example? Even worse - can you be sure that it won't give you wrong info, to try and put you off having sex?

Linked up

Some websites - including some religious ones - give really good, honest information, however - but how do you know which ones are honest and which ones aren't? Sometimes you can find out stuff about who made the site by clicking the about us link - most websites have one. Another way to find a reliable website can be to ask a teacher, or your doctor to recommend a good one. Or, if you can't find what you're looking for on our website, you can try the ones on our help page and our links page - we only link to reliable organisations.

Revving the search engine

In a survey, 60% of American teens looking for sexual health info used a search engine (like Google or Yahoo!) to find the information they were looking for. To find what you want using a search engine, you have to use the right keywords. For example - if you just type "teen sex" into the search box, you'll probably notice that there're a lot of websites about 'teen sex' that don't give any advice at all - and, unless you're looking for pornography, they won't be any help to you. Try using different words, as well as teen or sex - words like advice, help, or information.

Through the filter

In 2004, 35% of UK teens said they thought their computers had software that 'filtered' what they could read about. Some computer programs have special 'filters' that are meant to stop pornography - they often look out for words about sex, and if they find those words, they might not display the website that uses them. The trouble is - this can sometimes mean that they also accidentally stop you from reading sites that give advice about sex. Most public computers - in schools and libraries, for example - use filters. Often, filters can be programmed to let certain sites through, so if you find that you can't access AVERT.org (or another useful site) at school, ask your computer teacher if it can be allowed through.

Filters can be turned on or off, whatever suits you. Most search engines have a button saying 'preferences' allowing you to put the filter on or off. Microsoft Windows TM also has a filter option that you can turn on or off - to change this, ask the owner of the computer.

Meeting people, chat, making friends

Almost all teens who have access to the web use it to chat, email, SMS or IRC with their friends. New technology has created loads of new ways to make new friends and talk to them. But this is an area where you have to be really careful - get it wrong and it could cost you your life!

There're now loads of places online where you can talk to people. Some of them - like message boards - are for discussing particular subjects. Others - usually chatrooms, or IRC - work in real time, and are often popular with young people. Many teens find that communication over the web plays a really important role in their friendships and relationships - lots of people even met their boy- or girlfriends online.

The web is also used by some people not just to chat, but to cyber - to have sex with someone over the internet. Sounds crazy? Well lots of people do it, sometimes with webcams, sometimes just typing stuff they'd like to do to each other. Cybering's fine as long as you don't let it carry over into real life. And, even if it sounds a bit strange, it's still a form of safe sex - you won't get any STDs from cybering with someone!

But there are some precautions you have to take on the web - people aren't necessarily who they say they are, and even if someone sends you a photo of themselves, it doesn't necessarily prove anything - so don't take anyone for granted.

• Don't go to meet people you know only from the internet!
• If you decide you're going to meet someone anyway, take a friend with you and make sure your parents or an adult know where you're going and who you're with.
• Make sure the person you're meeting knows that you've told an adult what you're doing.
• Go somewhere where there are lots of other people around - a busy mall, for example.
• Don't give out personal information over the internet - don't tell anyone your name and address, for example.
• If someone you know from a chatroom or board wants you to send them pictures or personal info - stop and think! Why are they asking, and can you be sure they're who they say they are?
• Sometimes you might want to go along to something you've heard about online - maybe a youth group, counselling or information sessions. A bit of common sense is needed here - and if you're unsure, always ask someone else's opinion.

Pornography

The most common things you might find on the internet when looking for sexual health info is pornography ('porn' for short) - sexual pictures, writing, photos or films. It can be annoying, especially if you're looking for something else - 57% of UK teens report coming across pornography online while they looked for other things. That's not really surprising, as there're over 1.3 million porn sites on the web, generating billions of dollars. Some people find looking at these things is sexually exciting - but there're some important things you need to know about porn.

• There's loads of porn on the internet and it can be very hard to avoid. But if you don't like it, you don't have to look at it. There are ways you can stop your computer from showing porn sites.
• Pornography isn't always just pictures or films. It can also include cartoons or writing. Under this definition, it could also include chatroom talk, if it gets too strong.
• There are lots of different types of pornography on the internet, and it ranges from quite mild stuff to things that are illegal.
• In some parts of the world, there are age limits on looking at porn - make sure you're over the legal age. The laws about what is illegal are different in different countries - don't assume that it's legal just because you can look at it. Pornography involving children or animals is illegal in most countries. In many countries, if you are under the age of consent, it may be illegal for you to view all pornography - whatever type, pictures, films or written.
• In some parts of the world, some types of pornography are illegal, and you can get in trouble if it's found on your computer. People who have been found to have large quantities of illegal pornography on their computers have been sent to prison.
• Lots of people find it offensive - so don't show it to other people or leave it where other people can find it.
• Some people like to use pornography for masturbation - masturbation isn't wrong, but pornography can be, and you might not be allowed to look at certain things because of laws in your area.
• Remember - porn only shows sexual images, and there's much more to sex than this. Sex is also about feelings and relationships, and pornography doesn't show that. It also doesn't show important parts of sex - like how to protect against pregnancy or STDs.
• Pornography sites can be really difficult to get away from - they can add themselves to your favourites, for example, or to your desktop. Sometimes they can get your modem to dial international numbers which cost you a fortune. If you look at these sites, you need a really good firewall, spy- and mal-ware blockers, and a good Trojan- and virus-killer.
• If someone's showing or sending you porn, and you don't feel comfortable, ask them to stop. If they don't, then you should think about asking a teacher or parent for advice - this can be a type of abuse.

Don't be put off!

Okay, so there're dangers on the internet - you can find false information, and people aren't always who they say they are. But don't let this put you off!

The web can also be a really valuable resource for sexual health information. Almost anything you could possibly need to know is out there somewhere, all the things you wanted to ask but couldn't go to your teachers or parents about. It's completely safe, as long as you remember the basic tips on this page.

As well as sexual health information, the web can put you in touch with other people - if you're going through a difficult time, you can find other people who've had the same experiences and can help. Or maybe you've been through a difficult experience and want to use that to help other people. That's fine, as long as you remember the divide between the web and real life - if you go to anything in real life that you found about from the web, you have to be really careful that it's safe - even something like counselling sessions. As long as you're careful, and as long as you stick to reputable sites, the net can be great. You're never alone if you're online.

Written by Steve Berry

Last updated August 19, 2005