If you would like to add your personal story of being young and lesbian to this page, then please email us with what you would like to say. If you are looking for information on resources, youth groups, helpline's etc, please go the resources page.
| Heather | Embarrassment? | Girl of March | Brittany |
| Kambra | Danielle | Jen | Steph |
| Ashley | Lauren | Sandra | Jordan & Lisa |
| Nicole | Kirstin | Kim | Alice |
Heather
Whatcha!
My name is Heather, I'm 18, and I'm a lesbian to everyone who knows me. My immediate family are a bit weird about it, but they've accepted me the way I am. Which is good!
I've liked girls since an early age... about 6 years old at the least. Not overly to start with as I really didn't know what it was back then. I was sexually abused at the age of 8, and all through my early teens as well, and some would say that that's the reason why I'm gay... I've been scared away from men. In a way that is true, but my likeness for girls started before the abuse started. When I was about 12, I started hating myself because I was very depressed about other things, as well as having these weird feelings for girls, and I didn't want to be gay. I tried my hardest to fit in with my friends, and what they liked and disliked... in the end it drove me mad! They started asking awkward questions along the lines of, "Who do you fancy?" "Don't you think so and so is cute?" To which I'd have to lie about. I've had one girlfriend, which didn't really go so well because everything was going too fast and we couldn't handle it.
I never came out until I was about 15, but no one took any notice... typical parents, teachers, and other adults thinking I was going through a phase... yeah right! For almost 11 years, in a phase? I don't think so! A year went by and I'd left school, before I tried to come out again. I was in my room one particular night, and my mum came in to tell me my dinner was ready. I told her I wasn't hungry and she had a go at me, telling me I needed to eat something. We started arguing about my attitude because she didn't like seeing me that depressed. She asked me really stupid questions like if I was pregnant, if I was on drugs, if I'd started smoking... I said no to all. Then she looked at all the posters on my wall. They were all of a lesbian singer. She asked me if I was gay, but I just shrugged my shoulders. She ripped the posters off my wall and threw them at me, telling me I was sick and that I was a freak. After a few minutes of crying, she went downstairs. I heard her shouting at my dad who really didn't care to be honest. I just sat on my bed crying, wishing I was dead. An hour or so later she came back upstairs and apologised for what she'd said to me, and that I was her daughter and she loved me no matter what. I'd get people shouting abuse at me in the street and I still do. Before I just let them, but it made me so mad that I shouted back one day and they didn't know what to say after that. I became stronger in myself and I don't let anyone get away with shouting abuse at me now.
It looks like every other girl who has written something here, is from America. Here in Britain, I think most people are almost afraid of homosexuality, purely because they don't understand it. I find the whole religious issues with homosexuals, very tiring and very old. It's 2006, not 1706!! Religion is a waste of time and it's only made more problems in the world than anything else... including the problem with the Bible and homosexuality. If you took away all the obvious differences between men and women, i.e. internal and external sex organs, what you're left with are two identical bodies... we're exactly the same! I believe we're all born one way or the other, because you can't be taught how to be gay, you can't change it or make it go away. People just have to like it or lump it!
All I've learnt is be yourself, coz you can't be anyone else!
Heather xxx
Embarrassment?
Hi I’m a girl and I’m eighteen years old, for some year’s I have doubted my sexuality but been too scared to seriously even consider it. My family have always made jokes and expressed there feelings if one of there children was gay. This is what made me avoid my sexuality, the fear of being an embarrassment to my own family. I’ve never been in any relationship and when people ask me why I just avoided the subject. When I was a little younger I knew older gay males and six months ago I met my best friend who is also a gay male, we are very close and he always asked me if I was gay and I’d always avoid the subject. A month ago I met he’s friend whose a bi sexual girl whose of similar age to me and I knew I liked her straight away. I’ve eventually told my best friend I’m gay and he’s been so supportive. I felt I had to tell him as I feel I’m living a lie not just to myself but to everyone including my family, surely they have a right to know but from what they’ve said around me about gay people it scares me that I’ll be an embarrassment to them and I’d never want that. But why should I sacrifice my happiness for there’s?
Girl of March
Hi...I'm 14 and will be 15 in March.I came out to only one of my friends so far...lets just call here sun-shine.She's been my friend for 10years and will be 11 next fall when school starts back.When i told her she simply said really?Come to find out she is bisexual also.Sun-shine had a crush on me...oh yeah i had a crush on her too.We didnt date mainly because we was/are scared that it would hurt our friendship if things didnt work out.We are helping each other come out to our families and the rest of our friends...it might take a while but we will be right there for each other.I always tell her she means the world to me, and the only thing she says back is "i love you and if anyone ever tried to hurt you i would hunt them down like a dog and kill them"so i know i mean a lot to her too.
If theres only one person you can come out to at a time...make sure its someone who has been there for you though thick and thin.Lots of love and good luck!
Brittany
My name is Brittany, and I'm 18 years old. I started liking girls way before junior high. My brother had these playboys, and I would steal them and look at them. I moved to a different town, and most of the people I hung out with were either lesbian or bi-sexual. I have had a few girlfriends here and there, but mostly I like to just experiment with different people. I don't think it's wrong to like the same sex, people can't help the way they feel. If a person makes you feel good, then it doesn't matter what gender they are, what really matters is that you love them, and they love you. It will be shocking to people at first, especially to people who never would have expected it, but the world does move on. It might take a while, but hang in there. I told my mom that I was a lesbian, and she wasn't angry. She told me as long as I'm happy, then she will support any decision I make. And that's how most parents should be. A parent should always support their child's decisions, unless of course it involves hurting themselves or other people.
Kambra
Hey my name is Kambra. I'm 16 years old and I am a bisexual. I am more attracted to girls then guys though. I don't have a girlfriend because I just came out like three days ago. I had a very difficult time accepting it because my dad is gay. He left my mom after having three kids and I seen how it broke her apart. I don't think I will ever tell her for fear that her heart just can't take it. Anyway, at first when I acknowledged that I was, after struggling for 4 years over it, I thought that maybe it was because my friends are all lesbians or bisexual. However, then I realized that I am just like them and that I am probably their friends because at one point or another I was attracted to them. My family will never know but I have told my friends. They were happy and most of them had already pretty much figured I was. Right now I am currently being set up by them with my friend Jessica who I guess has had a crush on me for a couple of years now. I hope everything goes well. I feel a 100% better now that I have people to talk to and everything is in the open! However, I would like to get to know some people outside of my town. Good luck to anyone coming out trust me you'll feel a lot better if you do.
With luv,
Kambra
Danielle
Hello everyone,
My name is Danielle and i am 16 years old. I have decided to write this because i want to come out with my bisexuality.
I have always had feelings for men, but when i was about 13 i started to have feelings for women. So i knew i was bi. Then i met this girl who was bi and we dated for a little bit. We were dating for about 2 months when we decided to have sex. I was the virgin she was experienced. We did do it, and i do not regret it.
We still dated for about 2 weeks then we just decided to break up, we are still friends and whenever we hang out we wind up doing something. We make-out, have oral, or just have sex.
I do have a boyfriend and i love him. He doesnt care that i like girls. He still loves me for me. He doesn't care if i have a girlfriend (which i don't). He just wants me to be happy.
Well i told my dad that this girl liked me and he said are u a lez or are u bi..and i said bi..so he loves me and he and my brother crack jokes about me all the time. but he loves me and i kno it..he is the best..
Best of luck coming out!
-Danielle
Jen
Hey There,
My name is Jen. I am sixteen and yes I am a lesbian. I have know that I had feeling for girls since 7th or 8th grade. Recently I have had a few relationships with other lesbians. I fell for this girl who I thought I loved and we were great together, but in the end things didn't work out romanticly but we are still really really good friends. I live in small town Iowa and yes things can be difficult when you are gay. My junior year some of my friends and I are going to work on getting a gay straight alliance started at our school, for those of you who aren't familular with what a GSA is, it is a student led group for both gay and straight students to meet and talk about homosexual issues and things that affect the gay community. The purpose of this group is to have both gay and straight people come together and discuss ways to end homophobia.
For all of you who can't express yourself, weather it is because you are afraid to come out or you are forced to stay in the closet because of certain social aspects my deepest regards go out to you. I didn't start coming out to my family and friends until the end of my freshmen year and I have to say I have been the happiest I have ever been since. There is a feeling of freedom when the people you love know who you truely are and that they love you for who you are not somone you are forcing yourself to be to meet the criteria of society, even though we may not follow the normal standards for society there is so much more to gain from excepting yourself than living a lie. I only hope that with time we can all learn that we are who we are and we were born for a reason, weather gay or straight god has a plan for all of us and he loves all, if not there wouldn't be any gay people right!!!!
I am in a relationship with a wounderful girl right now and hopefuly things work out for the best but if not I know the one person is out there waiting to me her right person too, and when the time is right we will find each other, you just have to have faith, faith in love and faith in life. I hope who ever reads this will get something out of it no matter what it is we should all know that there are millions of people just like you and me, one out of every ten people are gay so how many does that make ALOT
Good Luck,
Jen
Steph
Hi, im Steph,
Im nearly 16 and I recently came out to a couple of friends that I was a lesbian. They were ok with it and one of them said she was bi. She said she really liked me and we have a small relationship going but nothing major. when I was about 12 I liked this girl but at that time I ignored it thinking it would go away but then when I started secondary school there was this teacher there and she was really young and EXTREMELY attractive (to me). Every one else said she looked like a turtle. I don't listen to what everyone else says. On my laptop I have pictures of girls and although my I haven't told my family about me being a lesbian I think they know because they have seen them. I am really glad I came out to a couple of people because its a real relief but you just have to be careful who you tell because the first person I told was totally against it and went and told all my friends and pretty much the whole school and there's over 1500 girls in my school so that's a lot of people that found out. Even some of the teachers found out.
In the end it doesn't matter what you end up like. Just be who you are and you will be surprised how many other people feel the same as you. Life sucks when you are pretending to be someone else. Good luck to all you guys.
Thanks for reading.
Ashley
I was pretty young, like 12 when I had known I liked girls. Before I dated guys but I didn't get an attraction to them in any way other then some emotional. I had thought my feelings were normal though until I began noticing girls and how when I saw one I'd feel things I ddin't feel for a guy, deep feelings. I would begin having crushes on girls and having 'fantasies' at moments of girls. I feared though that everyone would reject me so I continued on dating guys. It didn't make me happy though.
I continued to deny my feelings until I turned 13, after a year I finally decided I wasn't straight though my mind at moments would say it was jsut a phase. Finally I decided to take a step up and told a few friends and luckily they took it well. My friend Daniel though near the end of the school year ended up saying it in middle of class but I was glad he did. My peers actually took it well and no one said anything against me.
During about the middle of summber, not long before my 14th birth day my feelings were still as strong as before and so I decided to tell my mom and sister about it. My mom had to work that day and I tried to work up the courage to tell her but I couldn't. So after she went to work I went to see my sister and told her. Sadly she didn't take it well but she calmed down at some point and told my mom who took it well. Luckily my mom said she still loved me and didn't kick me out. As the summer went along things were normal and once my mom met my step dad she informed him as I did and he took it okay too. Once the next year came I was a freshman in highschool and the fact got around about me being a les but luckily after a little while the world got over it and everyone figured that I was still normal.
So I suppose I don't regret any of it 'cause now no matter what I don't have to pretend to be what I'm not infront of anyone. I can just be myself, date who I wish, and not hide my life. There will always be someone there, ready to go agaisnt you but in my mind its better to have that one person hate you for the person you are than the whole world love you for the lie your living.
Lauren
My name is Lauren; I live in Jacksonville Beach, Florida. I'm 16 and I realized I was a lesbian when I was 14. I think, truthfully I have always known I was really different from others, when I was little I liked my best friend, Arial*, but always thought 'oh, it's just cause she is like a sister' or something around those lines. But today I look back on it and I realize it was a crush.
I came out when I was 14. It was the hardest thing coming out to my parents, my mother assumed (and I think still does) that it is/was just a phase. But I think she is slowly coming to terms with the fact that, I am what I am. I think the easiest thing to do is coming out to people who you consider friends; they are more accepting than older people who have are not around bisexual, lesbians, and gays as much.
I have a girlfriend, and she is the best. I love her so much and I wouldn't do anything to hurt her we have been together now for almost 11 months, and if it wasn't for her, I wouldn‚t have realized my true feelings so quickly. I had a boyfriend when I first fell in love with her, but didn't do anything about it, I stayed with him till after Valentines Day but.... I couldn't do it any longer. I broke it off with him, a week later, she asked me out. The day after that, somehow he heard, in the hall he walked up to me, grabbed my arm and told me:
"This is ruining MY reputation, first you break up with me, and then you go out with a GIRL of all people." I was hurt horribly. He was one of my best friends, I had known him for two years and we had become very close and to think he would accuse me of ruining HIS reputation almost sent me over the edge. If anything, it was my reputation going down the tubes; he had nothing to worry about though he accused his reputation was going to be ruined because people would think that he turned me into a lesbian.
I just told him "Get over it, This has nothing to do with you, go back to being who you were before I was with you, but lets still be friends" Surprisingly he agreed and now its back to normal, though sometimes, he still hits on me a stern look or a quick remark about my girlfriend and he lays off.
I have noticed though, that a lot of the times the ones who are gay or lesbian, also happen to be the 'pillars' of friends. The ones everyone comes to when they have a problem, which for the most part, I fit into perfectly. I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends who are scared to come out in fear of people hating them. What I tell them is this:
"If a friend leaves you because you have admitted that you are gay/lesbian/bisexual then were they ever really your friend to begin with? Your true friends will love you just the same. Besides, there will ALWAYS be someone who doesn't like it, its just human nature, though slowly... it seems as if people are becoming more accepting"
I have been accused by many churches that I am a sin because of my sexual orientation. If this happens to you, just ask the minister or preacher or whoever these simple questions:
"If God is really the being you portray him as -a loving, kind, understanding, and accepting being- Then how, and why, am I a sin? If he really loves all his 'children' then WHY would he put down homosexuals? Are we not his children also?"
Each time I have said this, it seems as if they have no answer or if they do its just some stuff they have made up and I‚m not even Christian and I know that 'God' is supposed to be a loving man.
I love my friends so much; most were surprised but accepted me almost instantly. Many didn't even care, maybe it's because I'm with the thespians (drama) and many people are like that already. But whatever the reason, friends will make everything so much better.
*name was changed
A quote to live by: "If you'‚re afraid to look back, and scared to look ahead, you can always look beside you and your best friend will be there" It has helped me through the hardest of times. A true friend will NEVER leave you.
Best wishes and good luck.
Love,
Lauren
Sandra
Hi my name is Sandra
Well I just gotta say is that I know I am pretty much a lesbian. It started when I was in middle school and I dated one of my friends, matter a fact I dated 2 of my friends that were girls. And then that was over and I met this guy named Jacob and I thought me and him was ment to be. That was a load of crap!! Well I stayed with him over 2 years, and then we had a really bad time and we broke up and my heart was crushed. And I talked to some other people and of course that was over and I left everyone alone!!! And I really mean that. Well this family and moved in were I live,in the family was a 15 year old white boy and a 13 year old girl and later on I met the older sister named Sierra. She is 19 and see I am just 16. Well we all became friends and see the little boy that is 15 he was adpoted by their family. Anyway I really liked her ALOT! Then we got together and we really got along and had alot of fun. Then we made love and it was wonderful. And then we got caught my mother found notes that she had wrote me. Then we were told that we couldnt see or talk to each other ever again. It was a killer. But we stayed together, and now we are having problems trying to stay together. Because we go through alot of crap with my mother and her mother. So I would like some advice about every thing because I do love her and she loves me. And I wanna spend the rest of my life with her!!!!!!!
Jordan & Lisa
hi, im jordan, as of now im a 15 year old female,
well i guess i have known i was bisexual since i was like 6 or 7. i started looking at other girls and just wondered what they looked like with their clothes off, then in the 7th grade i had my first actual kiss from a girl and i guess it turned me on and made me want to move on and go for the real thing" sex", i mean all through grade school i had feelings for other girls and even dreams about sex with women, i just thought there was something wrong with me, well one day i was curious and read up on the meaning of being lesbian and it said that it doesn't matter what sex you are as long as your happy with it, your born one way or another and are meant to like the sex you like, well i got the courage up and told my mom that i was bi and she was so understanding about it, my dad on the other hand acted as if i wasn't his child anymore, but i guess the turn out was good because i got all of the pain and all of my emotions off of my chest and all of my friends excepted me and i have been happy ever since.
anyone who reads this i just want you to know that it is ok to be you and if people dont like it, dont worry about it because you are you and shouldn't change for anyone and the people who dont like it just have something they are hiding or worried about and can only find relief in making other peoples lifes miserable, so just be you and youll be a better and more happy person!
HI, MY NAME IS LISA,
IM 16, AND I GUESS I HAD KNOWN I WAS BISEXUAL ALL OF MY LIFE. I GUESS THE ONLY REAL LOVE I HAVE HAD AND WILL HAVE IS MY GIRLFRIEND NAMED JORDAN WHICH HAS ALSO WROTE ON THIS SITE HER STORY. IT WAS HARD AT FIRST TO COME OUT BUT JORDAN HELPED ME THROUGH THE WHOLE WAY, WHICH I HAVE TO SAY WITHOUT HER I DONT THINK I COULD HAVE EVEN DONE IT AT ALL. JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS AND THATR I LOVE YOU JORDAN FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME.
TO ANYONE OUT THERE WHO IS IN FEAR OF COMMING OUT JUST DO IT AND YOULL FEEL TOTALLY 100% BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF AND STOP WORRING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL THINK JUST LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR HEART SAYS AND DO IT.
Nicole
Hello I am Nicole,
Well, to first off say, I am 17 and I am bisexual, but I lean more towards girls. I cannot say that I am not attracted to guys, because I am in all honesty, but then there are days where I just don't want to be with guys at all.
I found out I was bisexual in 8th grade. I had slept over at a friend's house and we had an encounter where we had some intimate touching. But that is all I will say.
When I woke up that morning, I realized I was bisexual. I still liked guys, but I found that I was attracted to girls too. I spent my entire 9th grade year in turmoil. I wasn't sure what to believe. I was raised in a family where being bisexual was wrong and I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
It wasn't until that I was in 10th grade when I found out that there were girls who liked me too. My best friend and sister at the time, had a major crush on me, and I'll admit, I liked her too. We started dating and were dating all throughout 10th grade. But for 11th grade, I moved away from her and we broke up. I stayed in contact with ****** we'll call him Jack.
Jack and I talked a lot but during the summer before Senior year, he hooked me up with a girl. We'll call her Roxi. I was really excited about it because I just knew we would make it.
Well, Roxi and I have had our problems and we've gone on short breaks, but we are still together. We have been since July. We didn't officially start dating until September, but we knew each other before then.
Roxi is the love of my life and I couldn't be happier. I am comfortable with my sexuality and I have come to accept the fact that I am different.
I have always felt that people should be open about their sexuality. They shouldn't have to hide it. I know I did and I always tried to convince myself that I was straight, but then I found that the more I looked at girls, the more and more I became attracted to them.
School is hard sometimes because I had to hide behind a wall. I cannot be open about it except when I am with my close friends and even then, it is hard because many of my friends are straight and they don't understand the problems and teasing that comes with being different.
I wanted to share my story because I felt that it needed to be told. I am glad I found avert. I honestly just stumbled upon it when I did a google search. I found that I am not alone and that there are many teens going through the same thing that I am today.
~Nicole~
Kirstin
Hey I’m Kirstin,
I’m 14 and don't quite know how to put this into words,
I’m partly out most people know about the fact I'M BISEXUAL. I first of all Told my best friend who also turned out to be bi as well, things became Slightly awkward between us as we both said we had feelings for each other At some point or another she asked me out we started dating and having some Fun then when the summer holidays had passed and we had to go back to school I asked what we were going to do weather we should tell people or not, we Only decided to tell one of my friends and one of her friends that were Extremely close to us. As anyone's reaction would be, they were shocked and Eventually got used to it
Here is the hard part someone in my school found out and started to tell Everyone what was going on and who we were this was nearly 5months after we Had started going out this is now nearly 8months we have been going out and We are proud of it but still get called a few names this however doesn't get Us down we are proud of who we are and no one will ever change that and if anyone is looking for advise if you know that you are gay, lesbian or Bisexual don't bottle everything up, tell someone that you are close to that You think you can trust
Love ya all
Hope I helped
Kirstin x
Kim
I was reading the coming out stories and thought mine might be an interesting contribution.
My name is Kim and I am 14 years old and bisexual. I'll be 15 in a few days. This last summer of 2004 was the most life-changing I'll ever hope to experience. I had known since age 12 I was not quite 'right' in comparison with other kids. I realized I had feelings for girls and got curious. Being a bit of a computer nerd, I was soon google-ing my knowledge about it. Soon afterwards, I joined the MSN group, *****, where I continued to nurture my broken spirit. It was never easy to hide the hole in my heart, so I tried to fill it with a girlfriend. I met a girl named Kayla on *****, and soon after we were a couple. I still didn't tell anyone and she still went out with her boyfriends. This went on for a few months before I realized I was only infatuated with her and it was never meant to be. She had broken up with me on three different occasions because she was more entertained by her boyfriends and just wanted to be straight. So I finally broke it off for good with her shortly after an incident in which she attempted suicide and said it was my fault. I nearly died that summer from my own inability to cope with how I was. Only a week after the whole Kayla thing blew over, I found myself telling my Baptist Christian mother that I was bisexual. She was, surprisingly, very understanding because I was so upset myself, and immediately took charge, but in a bad way. She sent me nearly colliding with death again by taking me to the doctor to see if something was wrong with me, putting me on a sexual purity bible study course, canceling any sleepover for the rest of my life, and generally making my life hell, as well as telling my father. Soon I realized that sometimes you just can't stop others from trying to change you, and you have to stop allowing them to before it's too late. So I did. I no longer tell my parents about that side of my life, and I don't allow them to find any evidence of its existence. They know, of course, that it's still there, but now they just don't acknowledge it. They seem content to pretend not to notice anything of that sort, just like they do about my confession that I don't share their christian beliefs. About a month after the whole ordeal blew over, my life-long crush Lynda told me she liked me, and I did the same. We have been happily in love for a few months, and I took her to Homecoming Dance, where I told the entire school about our relationship. That was the week of my first kiss. ^_^ So things didn't turn out that bad, but not that good, either. I have a feeling that Lynda and I will be together for the rest of our lives, and that my family and I will only drift further apart. But I've decided that no matter if my family accepts it or not, I am never going back in that closet again. I am me the way I am, and I no longer keep myself a secret.
*I found out later that Kayla is in fact pregnant to one of her boyfriends who isn't planning on helping her with the baby. Most people of my school have accepted it and now badger me with questions about what I do with Lynda in our free time, though there are a few who talk about me behind my back. However, I've been told that I seem much happier and more outgoing and generally myself since I came out. ^_^*
Alice
Hey my name is Alice and I am 19 and bisexual. It’s funny how one day you can just wake up, and things that had always seemed so murky about you and your life suddenly become brilliantly clear. I guess it was a bit like that with my sexuality, I just woke up one day and knew. It was like looking at the world in a whole new way, maybe that's why it's called "coming out"; it really is like coming out of a dark room and being blinded with the brightness and promise of a new world. Cheesy I know, but it's true I swear!
Deep down, underneath the lies I told myself, I always knew I was bisexual. You hear about people who are bi but like one sex more than the other, well I'm smack bang in the middle. Gender just isn't a factor for me in my relationships - I love a person for who they are, not what's between their legs. I guess I tried to ignore it because not many people really understand, some people who know about me just think I'll sleep with whoever, but it's not like that at all. Some people seem to think bisexuality is just a ticket for a threesome, like bi people are all for show and are incapable of a committed relationship. It's upsetting how people just don't take you seriously. Sometimes the hardest thing is just being misunderstood, I'm sure a lot of girls out there know what I mean.
I've been blessed with some beautiful relationships with guys... and some not so beautiful ones, but I've only ever been with one girl and we are still together today. She is in the wrong place here on earth, I'm sure she belongs somewhere better, maybe heaven or something. She's a lesbian, and has had a rough time (like most of us have I guess). I met her when we were both 15, but we didn't know about each other's sexuality till we were 17. There was always something underlying to our friendship, and I remember they day she blurted out she was a lesbian in love with me. Leaning in to kiss her was the most perfect moment I can think of.
So no matter what kind of filth, grief and worry you have to wade through to get to that closet door, don't regret a moment of it. Two women together. It’s so worth it.
Love to all,
Alice.
Last updated February 13, 2006
